


As a Family

by ardentmuse



Series: Merlin Oneshots [3]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Domestic, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Kingsman!Reader, Marriage, Miscarriage, Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-06
Updated: 2019-03-06
Packaged: 2019-11-12 18:07:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18015761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ardentmuse/pseuds/ardentmuse
Summary: You are Merlin’s wife and a Kingsman agent. You’ve been training to take over some of the tech / communication responsibilities. Merlin observes you as you lead your first mission from the comfort of home.





	As a Family

He saw you sitting in his leather chair by the fire in your shared townhouse, throw blanket cocooning you, laptop open upon your knees. You were talking Lancelot through her latest mission, a straight-forward information gathering initiative at a governor’s cocktail party. The tech requirement was minimal, mostly just feeding details about attendees to Roxy as she mingled.

Agents knew you had been working alongside Merlin to learn more about what he does, to begin to alleviate some of his burden when multiple agents were out simultaneously. This was your first time without his assistance. He didn’t want to interrupt you, but he couldn’t stop himself from observing. You were beautiful, so detail-oriented and clear in your communication. Quick and smart, but only speaking when necessary to allow Lancelot the freedom to do her work unencumbered. You were perfect for this work, almost as good as you were in the field. But he wouldn’t be letting you go into the field anytime soon.

He watched as you absentmindedly rubbed your stomach. You had yet to feel the first flutters of the life growing inside of you, but according to the doctors, you should feel those kicks any day now. That was the real reason for your tech training. Merlin would not have you risking your life while you were pregnant. He had a hard enough time with you risking your life even before this development. But you were a professional, and you refused to take a hiatus, so this was the compromise.

“The governor’s wife’s name is Louise Browning. Our intel tells us she isn’t the brightest and loves gossip. I have some interesting tidbits about Lady Dutton’s affair that should make her eager to share with you. Let me know when you find her. Long blonde hair, sequins dress… I see her. 3 o’clock, holding two champagne flutes… Great. I’ll back off. Bring your hand to your nose when you want the Lady Dutton details.”

He smiled at your confidence in this role. He was always in awe of you, but seeing you take on his work with ease made him a different kind of happy, prideful almost.

You leaned back into the leather, crossing your ankles on the footrest so you could watch Roxy act in comfort. He tried to pull his eyes away from the goddess in front of him, glowing from all the hormones. Seeing your fingers still grazing your stomach caused an electric feeling in his chest, happiness and fear rolled together. He never thought he’d have a wife, let alone a child. His work and lifestyle didn’t seem to allow it. But then you came, a recruit of Lancelot, full of potential. You were so different from most of the other recruits he worked with: patient and calculating where others were rash, kind and generous where others were cold. You’d never be the kind to go in guns blazing. You’d be the kind to learn the building, make friends with the janitor, and be invited in with open arms. God, he fell in love almost immediately, and knew he was toast when instead of closing your eyes as you shot your cocker spaniel like every other agent before you, you laid on the floor, pulled the dog into your arms, whispering words of love to him through tears as you pulled the trigger. Even in your moment of utter sadness, your primary concern was to provide your companion comfort. Reflecting on it now, he couldn’t help but smile at what a wonderful mother you were bound to be, what a wonderful wife you already were.

Your voice pulled him from his memories. “Making sure I don’t screw this up, Merlin?” You were observing him with a slight smile. He couldn’t tell if you were upset with him for checking in or not.

“Y/N, I was just coming to see if you needed anything.”

“Maybe some tea?” Merlin nodded and left the study. 

When he returned, he heard you saying your parting words to Lancelot. Clearly the mission had been a success. You closed the laptop just as he placed a steaming mug on the end table beside you.

Merlin knelt before you, taking the laptop and then your hands in his.

“Do I ever tell you how much I love you?”

“Only everyday.”

“Well then, today let me show you,” he said, moving down to the footstool. He picked up your heel and begins massaging your ankle, moving his way down your foot, paying special attention to the arch.

You laughed as he tenderly cared for your feet. Merlin looked up at you.

“My feet don’t hurt yet. You know I’ve only gained about 6 pounds so far, Hamish.”

He loved when you said his real name, the way it rolled from your tongue as natural as anything else. He only ever heard it from you nowadays. It was a more powerful aphrodisiac than any term of endearment could be.

“Then let’s consider this practice,” He said, continue his soft circles into the arch of your foot.

You sat in contented silence for several minutes, your occasional hums of enjoyment filling the space between you.

“Hamish?” you asked as he moved to your second foot.

“Yes, my love?”

“Do you think we should tell the agents yet? I mean, I’m well into my second trimester. I’m not a miscarriage risk anymore. Plus, if something were to happen after this point, we’d probably want people to know.” You no long making eye contact, pulling at the loose strings of the blanket wrapped around you.

Merlin stopped working on your foot. He moved to sit on the footrest, pulling your legs into his lap.

“You’re scared?” he asked, looking deeply into your eyes.

“Petrified,” you admitted.

He sighed. He wanted this to be a happy time for you, time to celebrate the wonderful new life that was about to join your family. He knew how much you wanted this child, loved this child. 

It had taken some time for you both to conceive. And two miscarriages and a false pregnancy had made you so nervous and scared. You were still in mourning. You had even been discussing moving back to protected sex when you discovered this current pregnancy. The first three months were miserable. He could tell you were just waiting for the other shoe to drop. He had obviously felt the sadness of your previous losses, but not in the same way as you, he knew. It wasn’t his body. He knew you felt like your body was failing you, so he did everything in his power to worship it, to show you the depths of his love and appreciation for every part of you. He couldn’t heal the hurt, but he could help you not blame yourself for it. 

Merlin removed your grip from the blanket and took both of your hands in his. This was his go-to move to feel connection and comfort. It reminded him of how he held on to you the day you married, clinging to your fingers as a tether to reality as he uttered his vows and made his promises. The interlocked fingers a promise that this was real, that you were his as he was yours, and that neither of you would part if you could prevent it.

“My love, I can’t say it will all be okay. But I can tell you no matter what happens, I will be right here beside you. We’ll make it through together. As a family,” he brought your hand to his lips, “I love you always. Know that.” He began stroking small circles into your palm as he kissed your fingers, “Now regarding telling everyone, you have to know they are going to congratulate us and ask questions. Are you ok with that?”

He could see your wheels turning. He wasn’t sure if he himself to take everyone treating this like such a joyous occasion when he had such mixed feelings: incredible love for you, his strong and beautiful wife, an unlimited devotion to the child growing bigger inside you, a joy for the wonderful life as a family you will most likely have, a fear that that vision may still never be a reality, and a suppressed sadness at the loss of life no one else but the two of you knew existed. But he’d do it for you.

“I want to tell them,” you said after a beat, “I want to wear fitted clothes again. I want to be able to rub my belly without worrying that they are staring. I want to talk about it. And maybe their excitement will be contagious. I want to let the joy in again.”

You were tearing up and so he stood, lifting you bridal style with him.

“We’ll tell everyone tomorrow, then. But first, to bed.”

You tightened your grip around his neck as he left the study and began to ascend the stairs, bouncing you slightly with his movements. He felt you nuzzle into his neck and breath deeply. He loved when you smelled him and smirked a bit to himself as you nuzzled even deeper.

“But Hamish,” you called, forcing him to turn towards you, meeting your brilliant eyes, “Do we have to sleep in bed?” He saw the mischief on your face.

“Absolutely not. Whatever comfort you need,” he said, taking the steps now two at a time.

**Author's Note:**

> https://ardentmuse.tumblr.com/post/172337935156/as-a-family-merlin-x-reader


End file.
